The last two months have been a dearth of blog posts, so I'll spend this one catching up a bit. This might be a marathon post, but it's for my future self to read, so I don't really care. I'll post pictures later when I have access to the other computer. I wanted to mostly write down the funny things the kids have been saying lately so I'll remember them. A few things about/by each of them:
- Whenever Rachel or Alden gets messy while eating, Rachie always remarks, "That's like Cookie Monster. I bet Cookie Monster drives his mama crazy!" I think she hears me say (sometimes quite a bit), "you two are driving me crazy!" I almost always say this while laughing, but I think Rachel sees it as a funny remark of mine that lets her know I'm not happy with how messy the house has become due to toys dragged everywhere without being picked up or when food gets all over the place during a meal.
- When Rachel was in the car the other day she was heavily lamenting the fact that she is still in a car seat (a five point) and not a booster seat like some of her friends. I told her that she had to be at least four years old to sit in a booster seat (and if she fits, I may keep her in a five point for longer). She sighed and said very sadly, "I'm so tired of being three, Mom." Rachel is constantly talking about what things will be like when she gets older (this little three year old cannot wait to be a mom herself and get married and do all the things I'm doing right now) and I can't help but wish she would just enjoy being a child. I think this may be common for oldest children, as it's how I know I felt as a child and especially a teenager. I couldn't wait to get to the next stage or milestone...couldn't wait to drive a car, go to college, and be a grownup. I did all those things and never looked back, and thus I suppose worried a bit more about my life from a younger age. At the same time, having a mindset like that made me incredibly responsible and ready for adult life at a young age. I married at 20 and had Rachel at 21, so perhaps I needed to mature early to be ready for big life changes like those. I just see a lot of myself in her in these areas and I make a point to talk about how much fun we're having doing "kid" things. Rachel is no stranger to "living it up in the moment" either, so I'm sure she's fine. She just notices how much fun it can be to be a big kid, or an adult, and obviously can't yet understand the responsibilities that come with it.
- Rachel and Alden are honestly the best of friends, which makes having them so close together so worth it. They play better together than apart most of the time, and are always making up games and playing their own versions of "Blue's Clues" or "Dora" (the two shows I let them watch regularly). Their current favorite spot to sit and chat is on the little carpet next to the front door, which is apparently, "The Elevator." Rachel is constantly quizzing Alden and teaching him. She always asks him, "what's this?," even when she knows what it is, just because he will answer. If he doesn't know, she will teach him what it is. Their conversations are adorable. She'll repeat the word a few times and tell him how to say it. Because she does this, he already knows how to count to ten, and knows hundreds of words I wouldn't have expected him to know. He can speak in sentences, asking me politely, "Peas, I want to wear the geen shurt" (Please, I want to wear the green shirt). Rachel is a great teacher and a best friend to Alden, and makes it very clear in her best dramatic ways that she cannot wait for him to go to preschool with her, go to ballet with her, and all the other things he doesn't get to do yet.
- Alden is currently obsessed with helicopters. I have no clue what it is about them that makes him so in love, but he cannot get enough. We read the same two books over and over again, every single night and nap time (he also really likes "Brown Bear, Brown Bear" when he can persuade me to read him three). One is "Airplanes" and the other is called "Trains," both by Byron Barton. I will probably have to renew these from the library as many times as possible, and then recheck them out until I can purchase them. The airplanes book has a page about helicopters. Every night while I'm singing to him after his books are read and the lights are out he looks up at me and asks so sweetly, "I wide he-wa-cop-ker to-mo-woah?" (I ride helicopter tomorrow?). He is so serious and so desperate every time, and I always respond with, "someday baby boy." He has no idea how big a thing it would be to actually ride a helicopter, and it's just cute how much faith he has everyday that tomorrow will be the big day.
- Alden has learned so many songs lately, and can do the actions as well. He knows: "The Itsy Bitsy Spider," "Popcorn Popping," "The Wise Man," "Flying on an Airplane," "Once there was a Snowman," and "Choo Choo Choo," (which is his and Rachel's favorite song in the whole world, requested separately by each of them every single night, without fail). I'm sure there are more, but those are the current favorites.
- Today I fed the kids "Cars" chicken noodle soup and grilled cheese sandwiches for lunch. I had no idea what a hit it would be. Alden was hilarious, and kept smacking his lips and saying, "mmm....," and mumbling, "dis is licious!" (This is delicious!)
As for a general update of the past two months, Jason turned 28 and kept up with his thousands of deadlines for school. We also had a fun visit from Jason's dad and step-mom for a weekend a few weeks ago. We went out to eat at our favorite local restaurant, "Anna's Brick Oven," and attempted to go see a museum down in Hampton (Ft. Monroe), but never did find it. Instead we saw the Chesapeake Bay and even got to see a cargo ship go past us pretty close.
As for the job search, Jase became a Presidential Management Fellowship Finalist, which means he is a candidate for a job with the federal government in their PMF program. It's kind of a fast-track program for grad students to get into the upper reaches of the federal government. He is at their job fair this week, and has very high hopes for some wonderful job opportunities. We'll hopefully have an idea of where we'll be moving and what he'll be doing with his career by the end of this or next week. I'm thrilled at the prospect of simply having a plan for the next few years. This entire law school journey has been filled with a lot of confusion and questions for us as far as what Jason's career path might be, and where we ought to live. Looking back, we really can see how each experience has prepared Jason to be a PMF, and there is no way we could have gotten these jobs earlier; he was right on time. All our discouragement and worry about not having a job along the way really was for nothing. We've realized we never should have doubted things would work out the way they should, and we are more grateful than ever for the experiences we've had. We've learned so much about faith and putting our trust in God. Things really do turn out in the end when you have faith and you give your best efforts. As I'm saying this, we don't have any job offers yet, but I really believe something will happen and we'll be just fine.
As for me, I'm really really enjoying motherhood (finally!). It's not that I don't love infants, because I do, for about a month. I read an article by another blogger/mother who talked about how she has a theory that it's okay for mothers to love different stages of their children and struggle with others. Some mama talents are better for suited for different children's stages--some mamas love their pregnancies, some are great with newborns, some enjoy busy toddlers, some are better suited for grade school age children, some are wonderful parents to teenagers, and some know just how to be a parent to adult children. Some parents are good with many of these stages, and struggle with just one or two. Understanding this idea has been good for me, since I always thought I had to love them all to be a good mother.
I for one, absolutely love the first four weeks of heaven-sent baby freshness. I love the way newborns cry (that's strange to many mamas) and the way they root when they are hungry and they way their eyes peek open when they are waking up. After about month, exhaustion sets in for me. This was especially true with my second since I couldn't sleep when Alden was sleeping since Rachel needed me. Having two tiny ones under two was a huge challenge. I barely slept for 9 months, struggled with postpartum depression, and basically just put one foot in front of the other to keep both babies fed, clean, and as happy as possible. I can't say that I loved every minute of it, or even most of it. But since Alden turned about one and began sleeping through the night consistently (and as of late is napping exactly when Rachel is), I love love love being a mama. Toddlers are my forte. Maybe I'll have more fortes too though. I have a blast keeping them busy, doing activities with them, baking with them, taking them on long walks, exploring the beach, listening to sounds outside, and a million other little things that they find fascinating, new, and exciting. Watching them enjoy simple things has got to be one of my favorite feelings. They are thrilled over seeing our seeds become sprouts. They shriek with giddiness when they play with my parent's dogs (and constantly wish for one to call their own). They jump up and down with excitement over rain, snow, or a sunny day. Sure they throw some incredible tantrums, but here's the thing, I can handle these calmly. A screaming infant for hours on end might put me into a sobbing, blubbering mess, but these toddlers, I feel like I've got it.I can speak to them and reason with them. I get the sense that something deep in me understands how to teach the right-now-Rachel and Alden to be kind and good and brave and obedient and creative. They seem receptive to how I teach and I seem to be able to read their feelings and their needs for explanation. Sure, there are definitely still times where I just don't know what to say or how to teach something, but somehow I always feel confident I can figure it out. Back when Alden was screaming for hours on end with no apparent end in sight or reason, I felt completely lost and confused, with no way out or help to figure it out. Eventually things calmed down, but I've realized that the difference between then and now was my confidence in my ability to figure things out. Next time around maybe it will be different. I'll have a different baby and even more experience. But then again, maybe I'll just push through and love having that toddler too. It's okay and I'm okay.
