Sunday, June 17, 2012

Father's Day and The Big Move to Maryland

Happy Father's Day to two especially wonderful men in my life: my own father and my husband. I love Mother's and Father's days to honor and remember the wonderful men and women in our lives. I want to take a few minutes and write down a few thoughts about the men in my life.

New Daddy with baby Rachel.
Happy Daddy with baby Alden.
Family picture in front of the law school.
Daddy with his two babies.
The Diploma.
Jase coming off the stage after receiving his diploma. Hallelujah!
Let it be known that Jason is a stellar Father.  He really loves his babies. When I met and decided to marry Jase, I really didn't know much about his kid-abilities. I also don't think he did either. Being the second oldest, and a full ten years old when his youngest brother (number six) was born, Jase had lots of experience being around and helping care for younger kids. Still, I'll never forget the look on Jason's face when we did a little babysitting service for the neighboring ward (LDS congregation) in Provo just a few months after we were married. There were about 6 toddlers (all 18 months-3 years old) to watch for about an hour and a half while their mothers attended a Relief Society activity. I started to prepare the snack and the kids' activity and get a few toys out and Jase sat down in front of the kids. They looked at him, and he looked at them, and then he looked at me and asked, "so what do I do with them?" A few weeks later we were sitting in church and a little boy in front of us turned around, pointed at Jase, and furrowed his eyebrows. He then turned to his Mom and said, "Who's THAT guy?" Jase took all this to mean kids thought he was weird, but mostly I think Jase had simply forgotten how to really interact with little kids after not doing it for so long (it had been years since he'd lived at home). I figured things would come along when we had our own, and he did not disappoint. Jason fiercely loves our kids. They know it and feel that from him.  From day one he was willing to rock and burp babies (he's actually better at soothing babies than I am sometimes), change diapers, sing silly songs, and read books one hundred times in a row. To my children, Daddy is rough and tough play-time Daddy (Alden reported to me yesterday that he loves his Daddy because "he tackles me"); Daddy is a snuggle Daddy (both kids love their Daddy's lap for movies, books, songs, and sometimes just for a good long hug); Daddy is a book-reading Daddy (both kids expect book-time with Dad, since he is an eager reader and they love them some lap time). Whenever we pick Jase up (from school, the metro, etc.) Rachel always spots him as he's walking up to the car and says, "There's our cute guy! Look at him! There's our favorite guy!" I'm so grateful for a husband who knows what it really means to be a Father and who not only takes that calling and role seriously, but loves and enjoys it as well. I failed to blog about graduation and all of the amazingness that is Jason, so I'll include a few pictures here of that event. He not only graduated in the top third of his law class from The College of William and Mary, but he did it while being a stellar father to two babies and a supportive and caring husband to me. We entered law school with a seventh month old and left with two toddlers (now that's crazy!).

My Dad with brand new baby Rachel, January 2009
My Dad with Alden, October 2010
Now for my own Dad, Grandpa Ducks (Rachel gave him this name a few years ago since we always ended up feeding Ducks with him when they or we visited and it just stuck). My Dad is an incredible father. Today in Sunday School the teacher asked us to think about what our fathers taught us or impressions our father's made on us, maybe even just two big things we learned from them. I immediately thought of two very important things. First, my Dad taught me incredible loyalty. He has always (and I know will always) be my Mom's #1 fan, support, and friend; no matter what. He has made it abundantly clear through words and actions that he loves her more than his own life and anything else he could ever have. He never was one to take much time for himself, because he'd far rather spend his time at home with our family. He is incredibly loyal to my family. Second, my Dad taught me to love scriptures. While I was in high school I attended LDS Seminary, beginning at 6 AM before high school each day. My Dad commuted into Washington D.C. at the time and drove me to seminary every morning on his way to work. Every morning around 5:30 he would pour his breakfast cereal and sit down at the table with his scriptures. I saw him reading all kinds of books in the scriptures. I expected to see him reading things like the Book of Mormon, but I saw him deep into obscure books of the Bible (at least obscure to me at that age...can you imagine my surprise at such things as a 15 year old at 5:30 AM?). My Dad loved God enough to make sure he read something from Him everyday, even if it was at an early hour. I've never doubted my Dad's testimony or love for God, Christ, or the gospel. I'm so thankful for such a kind man as my father. He is a wonderful person, Father, and Grandfather (my kids are absolutely giddy that he and my Mom will be here in one week!).

Next, a general update. We made the big three hour move up to Maryland, and it truly is a different world up here. I no longer feel like I'm in the friendly "South," but rather in this big sprawling city-world that is D.C. To tell the real truth, I miss Williamsburg a lot. First of all, Maryland is expensive. Home prices, rent, food, gas, insurances, and pretty much every single thing a person could think of is more expensive. Luckily our pockets are somewhat deeper than they've ever been (it wouldn't take much to make them deeper seeing as how we've been students all of our marriage), but the expenses are significantly more expensive as well. Second, Maryland is a nanny-state. It is clear from the way the state itself runs things that they expect most people to be dishonest and unable to take care of or handle themselves. This annoys me and also results in higher taxes, ridiculous taxes, and higher fees. Third, Maryland drivers and traffic is just ridiculous. I'm half tempted to call the local police department and ask whether it is even required by law to use a turning signal. Just the other day I was sitting in a three-lane left turn waiting for the arrow and when I looked around me, Jase and I counted all ten cars to have no turn signal on (we were the only other car there, turn-signalling away...silly us). I've seen two people cut other people off and flip the bird while they sped past us. I just feel a little unsafe on the road these days, and if you know me, you know that is really really scary to me.
Plus I just miss what is comfortable and familiar. I think anyone who moves feels this way for a little while until you get your bearings, know your way around, and make some good friends.
BUT...now for some pros...
I love our apartment. It's about 300 square feet bigger than our last place and it is beautiful. Brand new carpet, crown molding and chair rail, fresh paint, a beautiful kitchen sink, and a full size dishwasher and a full size washer and dryer all to my little self (I've never had a full size either of these--and for a few years nothing at all; and I've managed to bring two babies to toddler-hood this way!). My cleaning/home maintenance time has drastically been reduced by having these conveniences and I love it. This excitement may sound silly to some, but I just might appreciate them more since I haven't seen them in so long (I'll tell myself this was a good reason to not have such luxuries these past 4 1/2 years).
I have met some really nice people from church. I haven't had a ton of time to get to know them yet with moving in and getting acclimated, but I have no doubts things will be just fine. There will be friends for my children and friends for me here. I am also ecstatic to have my wonderful cousin and her family living just 15 minutes away as well, so that's very comforting to have family and friends nearby.
There is a Trader Joes less than one mile from my house. Milk is a whole dollar cheaper per gallon there than anywhere else. I love Trader Joes for many reasons, and I'm so glad it's my closest grocery store.
Our ward is very diverse. I love this because it provides us with new perspectives and insights and opportunities to serve and learn from people different than us. Looking around in Relief Society and hearing the women comment, I am convinced at least half are non-native English speakers (some are Latinas and Spanish speakers, and many are French speakers, I think of African descent, and possibly Haitian). Hopefully I'll be able to brush up on some Spanish (our kids are like sponges lately, and eagerly learn Spanish) and maybe learn a little French as well.
So, there are many great things about Maryland, and generally about every place we could live. Growing up in a military family gave me the perspective that you just accept wherever you are and make it your home. You dive in, get to know the place and the people, make yourself useful to others and try to serve other people, and enjoy it. Even if it's not ideal for whatever reason, I've found if I search for the good in it then I'll learn what I'm supposed to learn here.
Transitions can be hard (it's been really hard on the kids mostly, since they miss their friends and their beloved "blue house") but they lead to more flexible people. And when you know something was the right move, or the right decision, or the right home, or the right place, you can trust that it will all be okay and that there may be an even bigger plan for you than the one you had for yourself.

A sneak peak at the kiddos room (it's starting to come together). We're going with a vintage ABC's theme.
These pictures are from a children's book of fingerplays my Grandma gave me. It was just sitting in a box not getting used (since I know all these fingerplays) so I removed the staples and folded the pages over. I ended up with 6 colored pages of vintage art straight from the '60s AND my Grandma is now a part of my children's room. Every time I look at these pictures while rocking my babies I think of her.
Having a little "tea" party with Mr. Monkey.
Doing some painting lately!
Loves to paint!