Father's Day and The Big Move to Maryland

Happy Father's Day to two especially wonderful men in my life: my own father and my husband. I love Mother's and Father's days to honor and remember the wonderful men and women in our lives. I want to take a few minutes and write down a few thoughts about the men in my life.

New Daddy with baby Rachel.

Happy Daddy with baby Alden.

Family picture in front of the law school.

Daddy with his two babies.

The Diploma.

Jase coming off the stage after receiving his diploma. Hallelujah!

Let it be known that Jason is a stellar Father.  He really loves his babies. When I met and decided to marry Jase, I really didn't know much about his kid-abilities. I also don't think he did either. Being the second oldest, and a full ten years old when his youngest brother (number six) was born, Jase had lots of experience being around and helping care for younger kids. Still, I'll never forget the look on Jason's face when we did a little babysitting service for the neighboring ward (LDS congregation) in Provo just a few months after we were married. There were about 6 toddlers (all 18 months-3 years old) to watch for about an hour and a half while their mothers attended a Relief Society activity. I started to prepare the snack and the kids' activity and get a few toys out and Jase sat down in front of the kids. They looked at him, and he looked at them, and then he looked at me and asked, "so what do I do with them?" A few weeks later we were sitting in church and a little boy in front of us turned around, pointed at Jase, and furrowed his eyebrows. He then turned to his Mom and said, "Who's THAT guy?" Jase took all this to mean kids thought he was weird, but mostly I think Jase had simply forgotten how to really interact with little kids after not doing it for so long (it had been years since he'd lived at home). I figured things would come along when we had our own, and he did not disappoint. Jason fiercely loves our kids. They know it and feel that from him.  From day one he was willing to rock and burp babies (he's actually better at soothing babies than I am sometimes), change diapers, sing silly songs, and read books one hundred times in a row. To my children, Daddy is rough and tough play-time Daddy (Alden reported to me yesterday that he loves his Daddy because "he tackles me"); Daddy is a snuggle Daddy (both kids love their Daddy's lap for movies, books, songs, and sometimes just for a good long hug); Daddy is a book-reading Daddy (both kids expect book-time with Dad, since he is an eager reader and they love them some lap time). Whenever we pick Jase up (from school, the metro, etc.) Rachel always spots him as he's walking up to the car and says, "There's our cute guy! Look at him! There's our favorite guy!" I'm so grateful for a husband who knows what it really means to be a Father and who not only takes that calling and role seriously, but loves and enjoys it as well. I failed to blog about graduation and all of the amazingness that is Jason, so I'll include a few pictures here of that event. He not only graduated in the top third of his law class from The College of William and Mary, but he did it while being a stellar father to two babies and a supportive and caring husband to me. We entered law school with a seventh month old and left with two toddlers (now that's crazy!).

My Dad with brand new baby Rachel, January 2009

My Dad with Alden, October 2010

Now for my own Dad, Grandpa Ducks (Rachel gave him this name a few years ago since we always ended up feeding Ducks with him when they or we visited and it just stuck). My Dad is an incredible father. Today in Sunday School the teacher asked us to think about what our fathers taught us or impressions our father's made on us, maybe even just two big things we learned from them. I immediately thought of two very important things. First, my Dad taught me incredible loyalty. He has always (and I know will always) be my Mom's #1 fan, support, and friend; no matter what. He has made it abundantly clear through words and actions that he loves her more than his own life and anything else he could ever have. He never was one to take much time for himself, because he'd far rather spend his time at home with our family. He is incredibly loyal to my family. Second, my Dad taught me to love scriptures. While I was in high school I attended LDS Seminary, beginning at 6 AM before high school each day. My Dad commuted into Washington D.C. at the time and drove me to seminary every morning on his way to work. Every morning around 5:30 he would pour his breakfast cereal and sit down at the table with his scriptures. I saw him reading all kinds of books in the scriptures. I expected to see him reading things like the Book of Mormon, but I saw him deep into obscure books of the Bible (at least obscure to me at that age...can you imagine my surprise at such things as a 15 year old at 5:30 AM?). My Dad loved God enough to make sure he read something from Him everyday, even if it was at an early hour. I've never doubted my Dad's testimony or love for God, Christ, or the gospel. I'm so thankful for such a kind man as my father. He is a wonderful person, Father, and Grandfather (my kids are absolutely giddy that he and my Mom will be here in one week!).

Next, a general update. We made the big three hour move up to Maryland, and it truly is a different world up here. I no longer feel like I'm in the friendly "South," but rather in this big sprawling city-world that is D.C. To tell the real truth, I miss Williamsburg a lot. First of all, Maryland is expensive. Home prices, rent, food, gas, insurances, and pretty much every single thing a person could think of is more expensive. Luckily our pockets are somewhat deeper than they've ever been (it wouldn't take much to make them deeper seeing as how we've been students all of our marriage), but the expenses are significantly more expensive as well. Second, Maryland is a nanny-state. It is clear from the way the state itself runs things that they expect most people to be dishonest and unable to take care of or handle themselves. This annoys me and also results in higher taxes, ridiculous taxes, and higher fees. Third, Maryland drivers and traffic is just ridiculous. I'm half tempted to call the local police department and ask whether it is even required by law to use a turning signal. Just the other day I was sitting in a three-lane left turn waiting for the arrow and when I looked around me, Jase and I counted all ten cars to have no turn signal on (we were the only other car there, turn-signalling away...silly us). I've seen two people cut other people off and flip the bird while they sped past us. I just feel a little unsafe on the road these days, and if you know me, you know that is really really scary to me.
Plus I just miss what is comfortable and familiar. I think anyone who moves feels this way for a little while until you get your bearings, know your way around, and make some good friends.
BUT...now for some pros...
I love our apartment. It's about 300 square feet bigger than our last place and it is beautiful. Brand new carpet, crown molding and chair rail, fresh paint, a beautiful kitchen sink, and a full size dishwasher and a full size washer and dryer all to my little self (I've never had a full size either of these--and for a few years nothing at all; and I've managed to bring two babies to toddler-hood this way!). My cleaning/home maintenance time has drastically been reduced by having these conveniences and I love it. This excitement may sound silly to some, but I just might appreciate them more since I haven't seen them in so long (I'll tell myself this was a good reason to not have such luxuries these past 4 1/2 years).
I have met some really nice people from church. I haven't had a ton of time to get to know them yet with moving in and getting acclimated, but I have no doubts things will be just fine. There will be friends for my children and friends for me here. I am also ecstatic to have my wonderful cousin and her family living just 15 minutes away as well, so that's very comforting to have family and friends nearby.
There is a Trader Joes less than one mile from my house. Milk is a whole dollar cheaper per gallon there than anywhere else. I love Trader Joes for many reasons, and I'm so glad it's my closest grocery store.
Our ward is very diverse. I love this because it provides us with new perspectives and insights and opportunities to serve and learn from people different than us. Looking around in Relief Society and hearing the women comment, I am convinced at least half are non-native English speakers (some are Latinas and Spanish speakers, and many are French speakers, I think of African descent, and possibly Haitian). Hopefully I'll be able to brush up on some Spanish (our kids are like sponges lately, and eagerly learn Spanish) and maybe learn a little French as well.
So, there are many great things about Maryland, and generally about every place we could live. Growing up in a military family gave me the perspective that you just accept wherever you are and make it your home. You dive in, get to know the place and the people, make yourself useful to others and try to serve other people, and enjoy it. Even if it's not ideal for whatever reason, I've found if I search for the good in it then I'll learn what I'm supposed to learn here.
Transitions can be hard (it's been really hard on the kids mostly, since they miss their friends and their beloved "blue house") but they lead to more flexible people. And when you know something was the right move, or the right decision, or the right home, or the right place, you can trust that it will all be okay and that there may be an even bigger plan for you than the one you had for yourself.

A sneak peak at the kiddos room (it's starting to come together). We're going with a vintage ABC's theme.

These pictures are from a children's book of fingerplays my Grandma gave me. It was just sitting in a box not getting used (since I know all these fingerplays) so I removed the staples and folded the pages over. I ended up with 6 colored pages of vintage art straight from the '60s AND my Grandma is now a part of my children's room. Every time I look at these pictures while rocking my babies I think of her.

Having a little "tea" party with Mr. Monkey.

Doing some painting lately!

Loves to paint!

Figuring Things Out

I have had so much on my mind over the past few days worrying about my Alden-boy. This will be a terribly long post, but writing it out is helping me sort through everything. Little man has had a bit of trouble falling asleep the past few days. I posted on Facebook to get solicited advice about ways other people have dealt with too-young babies climbing out of cribs, and I got a lot of feedback. I was overwhelmed by how many different ways there are to do things. Some people subscribe to cry-it-out methods and others are firmly against it. Everyone has such different ways of doing things, and I'm friends with all of these wonderful mothers! The reason for this is of course, that all people are different; family dynamics are different, schedules are different, mothers and fathers are different, and probably most of all, children are different.

What I'm learning especially right now is that children in the same family can be very different. This is the first time it's hit me hard that the ways I had of doing things (discipline, bedtime routines) with Rachel may need to be very different and individual for Alden. Kids simply have different needs and different insecurities, and it's my job as their mother to read them, understand them, and treat them accordingly. I think in the past I've applied too much of what I learned from Rachel to Alden, assuming he would respond the same way. I don't have a clue why I thought I could do this, because I've always known he was so different from her. His babyhood was completely different, his temperament was different, and he had much different challenges than her. He also had a different mother, in a way; I've grown up and changed just as much as Rachel and Alden have.

When Rachel was born I was a bit more clueless and less confident, and luckily God sent me a baby who easily nursed and accepted the "cry-it-out" (sort of) method around 9 months old (I had read no books about it, this was just what worked with her after trying some different things). With her it was very simply done over a period of about three nights, and ever since she's had a pretty consistent and comfortable sleep schedule and routine with hardly any crying. Obviously we've made adjustments as she's aged or had illnesses, and I've become really good at reading her sleep needs. She has also become really good at reading her own needs, and rarely fights me on napping or going to sleep, because she understands how good sleep makes her feel. She was taught from a young age how to fall asleep by herself when the time was appropriate, and I don't regret doing what we did with her. She's a total champ and has been so flexible with us and with Alden through all of his sleep problems. She's always been a flexible person, able to read herself and others and go with the flow. She is perceptive and deeply kind, and I'm so grateful for these wonderful traits in her. I think she came to us with many of those traits, but perhaps some of it was because she had such a grappling, imperfect, young mother trying desperately to figure out how to take care of her. She also got a little brother when she herself was just a baby and lost (in my mind sometimes) a little too much of her babyhood too quickly. She had to be flexible! She also gained a best friend to boss around all the time, much to her liking; and there is no one who loves that boy more than her, so I guess it's a trade off. It always is.

This is what I believe about sleep, in general, for all people. Sleep makes a huge difference in the way we live our lives. I was flabbergasted to get 36 comments, mostly within one hour of my initial post. Even this fact shows how important this issue is to us, especially to parents (who made up a large body of those posting). Whether or not you sleep can literally change who you are; how you feel, how you think, what you think about, and thus what you do and how you act. I think especially for small growing bodies, appropriately timed and quality sleep makes a huge difference in behavior, security, happiness, mental activity, energy, and physical health. I have found that for my kids, their ideal times to fall asleep are 7 for Alden and 8 for Rachel. They will forever wake up at 6 am, but that's okay since they are each getting 11 and 10 hours of sleep each night (exactly the amount they need). They also both take a nap from about 1-3 every day (this is largely why Rachel goes to bed a little later--the nap is still needed and worth it for her).

Even for me, understanding sleep and getting enough sleep makes a drastic difference in my life. During my especially sleep-deprived days and months after Alden was born, I began to get very chronically sick. I would have these strange "flares" where my lower joints would be swell and become extremely painful, especially my knees and hips. My family history is heavy in autoimmune disorders and these symptoms were beginning to look interesting, so I went to my doctor and eventually a rheumatologist. They found actual joint narrowing in both of my 23 year old (at the time) knees, and blood work came back with results looking an awful lot like someone with an autoimmune disease. My symptoms were never bad enough (and they come and go) for me to be willing to take steroids or pain medication other than good ol' prescription dose Ibuprofen, so my specialist and I parted ways to meet again someday if (and maybe when) things get worse. The interesting thing is that these symptoms gradually went away the more sleep I got as Alden got healthier and slept better. Autoimmune disorders (especially flares) are triggered by things like having a baby, a lack of sleep, or incredible stress: three things my life was full of for that year. Two babies under two, very little sleep, even sometimes not sleeping for more than an hour in a row while rocking my ear-infection stricken baby all night, and then caring for my attention starved toddler all day. All that stress and in turn lack of sleep set me up for sickness and depression. Basically, sleep is key, even for me. And if an adult needs it, growing children need more of it.

So for our game plan. Ultimately, the source of Alden's problems is what we feel we must focus on, rather than just focusing on his getting out of bed and simply putting him back in the way we were doing (which was just frustrating for us both). I think he's deeply insecure about the move, and I think being in the hotel has affected both Alden and Rachel a lot more than we before thought. What I realized is that even though our bedtime routine was consistent and no different than it ever has been, our daytime routines (outside of the kids consistent nap) have been all over the place with Dad home, no Joy School, living in a hotel, and not having our regular play dates and errands. Plus the kids keep hearing us talk about this impending "move" that they don't understand. I think it's made them uncertain and unconsciously stressed out (this is hard for me to realize, because I feel like we've done everything we can to help them feel loved and cared for, and there is nothing we can do about living in a hotel or moving). As free-spirited happy as Rachel is even through all of this, there have been more meltdowns than normal, and even a few nights of bed-wetting (something she's never done in her year since potty-training). So for the next several weeks of transition (from the hotel to the new house), we've decided to take it really easy on both of them. Sometimes you have to take a hard line (no hitting or biting), and sometimes you have to give a little, especially when you know they are having a hard time. Rachel still has no problems falling asleep, but we've decided she'll be falling asleep on the couch and moved to her bed in the kid's room later in the evening (thank goodness for her flexibility!). This will keep her sleep time early enough for her and she won't have to wait for Alden to fall asleep in order to get in bed.

As for Alden, after his regular bedtime routine, I will be holding him and singing to him (this is what he's most relaxed by, reading seems to stimulate him) in the dark until he gets sleepy enough to put in his bed. Cry-it-out worked for Alden as a younger baby (around one year old), but that was a time when we had addressed his insecurities and we were in a different place and time. I plan on adjusting the time I spend with Alden as he gets more comfortable with the new place and we get set in a more consistent routine. I can't spend an hour and a half singing to him every night when I have another little girl who needs me too, but I can eventually spend a full half hour singing and helping him relax. I'm realizing he just needs that extra alone time with Mama since he really hardly ever gets that. Basically we just have to start bedtime routines earlier so he can be asleep at the latest by 8 for now, and move that time earlier as he falls asleep faster. If we continue to have problems with him getting out of bed because of freedom, we may have to move him to a toddler bed so he can get back in bed on his own, and make the room his "crib" essentially. At that point we will have addressed his reasons for insecurity and he'll be back to his routines and in his own home.

I think that's enough for tonight! :)

Bedtime Craziness and Thoughts on the Young Man

Alden has now officially learned how to get in and out of his port-a-crib (his only sleep option at the moment). The way he does it is just hilarious to me. He backs up a little ways to get a running start and then takes off into a jump-cling move akin to Spider-man on the side of the crib, with his hands gripping the top edge and his little toes digging into the mesh side wall. In one more fluid motion he is head first into the crib and flips over with a giggle. Getting out used to be a little harder (no running start) but he's now mastered hoisting one of his little legs up over the edge and throwing the rest of his body out while hanging on with his hands. Because he now has more control over being in bed, he doesn't really want to be there much. Last night Jase had to drag him back to bed every minute or two for about an hour and a half, and finally just sat in there and stared at the wall until the kids fell asleep (I was at my last mutual night at the time...poor Jase looked like he might tear his hair out when I got home). This also means the kids haven't been going to sleep until about 9 for the last few nights, leading to 5 am wake-ups and grumpy babies. Today for his nap Alden kept getting out again so Jase went in there and did the same thing as the night before-sat there and ignored him, except to "shush" him if he said anything. It only took him ten minutes to fall asleep; I guess he knew with Dad in there he wasn't going to get out. Hopefully after we move, Alden will be stuck in his real crib, but if he can climb out...a crib tent? Sheesh! Not a once did Rachel ever do this so much, even when we transitioned her to a toddler bed when she turned 2. Every kid is a new experience I guess.

I am learning just how incredibly mischievous my little guy is. He used to be so shy and observant, afraid of being involved in too much, and now that he's nearly two he is all about pushing buttons and diving into his bed head first. Luckily, he is still really, really sweet and all about melting his girls' hearts. It only takes flashing that devilish grin and chattering on about everything he loves about us. I sure love him back, and maybe all his crazy antics lately are just one more reason to add to my growing list of reasons why Alden is a hard but worth-it kid. I sometimes have no idea how to teach/discipline him. He giggles through almost every time out (he gets a one minute time-out with his face in the corner and his hands held to his sides for aggressive/mean behavior). He cannot be made to feel bad about, well, anything (I'm throwing food? Sure, take it away Mom, I didn't want it anyways!). Today while trying to put him down for his nap, and just before putting him back in bed for the fifteenth time I spanked him--a less than proud moment for me. I had already taken away his favorite blanket and sock monkey, and he had sauntered out to hand me his stuffed Tigger as well, because well, why not give me that too? Now, I've never been one to spank my kids. After I did it He. Seriously. Raised. His. Eyebrows. and gave me a look that said, "Really? That's all you've got left?" It was totally aggravating how pointless that swat was (also meaning I realize how ineffective and better-left-unused it was). I'm sure he's just testing us right now to see what we'll follow through on and what he can get away with. Even still, I really love his personality. He is happy-go-lucky and silly but also very kind and thoughtful. He is the first to help clean up anything, he gives the best squeezes and wet kisses, and he's always asking me, "How doin' Mama?" In answer to that, I'm doing good my Alden-boy. I guess you can be a little ornery because you are nearly two. But I'm just happy you're mine.

More Picture Updates

The babies enjoying our hotel room. There was hardly anything in the kitchen cabinets below, so I pulled out what was in there since the kids loved the space. Rachel started calling it her "hide out" from the "bad guys," which Alden has converted into "hide-guys." He always wants to play in his "hide-guys" spot. I'm thinking about reserving a lower cabinet in our new kitchen as a little hide out for the kids to play in. Below, Alden is playing hide-and-seek. He really doesn't get the game, and picks the most obvious places to hide. He thinks if he crouches in a corner and can't see anyone, no one must be able to see him. Cute boy.

 Here's the babies with their beloved statue. This statue stands in front of the law school, and Rachie's loved it from day one. It wasn't long before we'd pull up and she'd say from the back, "Hi John Marshall, Hi George Wythe" (pronounced by Rachie: George Wiff). Alden thinks they are pretty great as well.

Here's Rachel with one of her best buddies, Caleb at the JRCLS send-off cookout to celebrate the end of the year and say goodbye to the 3L's. These little ones have been playing together since they first learned to crawl. The picture below Rachel and Caleb is of Alden and our friend Luke playing on the park manager's truck/cart. They spent a ton of time during the cookout imagining they were driving together on this thing.

 Alden loves to relax with his arms behind his head and I think he's just cute.

 From our most recent Busch Gardens trip. Loving on Elmo.

 Petting a Clydesdale with Daddy.

 Alden giddy as can be after getting absolutely soaked on the log flume ride. Jase literally rung out Alden's shirt afterwards and we had to strip him down up top and put on his jacket to warm him up.

 Rachie scored big at the pet show. Busch Gardens has a 57 year old parrot named Stevie who actually does math. He can solve any math problem with an answer less than 10 as long as it's a simple two number combination of addition, subtraction, multiplication, or division. We prepped Rachel a little and picked the math problem 2 x 3. She went up on stage like a champ and told Stevie her problem. He actually said "uh-oh" to her (he laughs for addition and subtraction because they are easier for him), but then solved it just fine. Smart little parrot.

These last three pictures are from the last week of Joy School. Here are five of the six kids performing a few of their favorite songs.

I taught the last day of school. We did a little recap of activities from throughout the year, so we took a nature walk to play at the park behind the hotel.

Here's all six kids with their graduation hats. So glad we got to know all these cute kids and their families a bit more. We'll miss them.

Pictures

 A few pictures of things we've done in the last few months. Above and below--a trip to the Norfolk Zoo over spring break in early March. It was cold and not many of the animals were out, but the kids had a ton of fun, we got some exercise, and we got to see a baby monkey on the back of his Mama for quite a while. The monkeys were indoors and hugely interactive through the glass with the kids.

Below are pictures of little miss. First is from our trip to the Chesapeake Bay over spring break while Jason's Dad and Step mom were in town. Rachel found herself a little ladybug to take care of for awhile.

I think the below picture is so cute. Alden loves watching Jason shave and so Jase often lets him "practice" with a comb or something else. He wants so much to be like his Daddy. Alden also has recently become obsessed with Jason's leather wallet, always taking out the cards, etc. He kept finding it no matter where Jase put it, so we bought Alden his own little cheap leather wallet. He feels so grown up with his little Martin's grocery card in there, tucked in his back pocket just like Daddy.

A picture of Jase on his 28th birthday. We had his favorite cake--German chocolate with coconut pecan frosting. He says he feels much older than before, being "almost 30." Jase thinks it's crazy that he can remember when his own Dad turned 30, so it's crazy to him that he's closer to being there. For his birthday we went to bowl as a family. The kids had a blast and looked so cute in their little bowling shoes.


I don't know if I had before said anything about Rachel taking ballet lessons, but she had a blast with them for the last few months. The local community center had a great deal with a wonderful teacher, Miss Tessa. Miss Tessa is an undergrad nursing student and dancer who just loves to teach. The class had about 5-10 little girls in it each week, for just about a half hour. Rachel learned a few things about ballet, but I think mostly just had fun dancing, listening to and getting to know Miss Tessa, and learning to make new friends. The first day we went to class Rachel was so nervous because she didn't know anyone there. We talked about how you make new friends and how it's important to say hi and smile and help other people not to feel nervous, and then you forget that you are nervous yourself. We talked about how to ask other people questions about themselves and listen and learn and be a friend. She timidly walked up to a cute little girl who also was there for her first time and found she really liked her. When we left she said she was glad to have some ballet friends but that she liked her "real" friends better (she was referring to the friend group she's had since she was a baby), which made me laugh. We talked about how they are all "real," but some we know better than others. It was a fun experience for her, and I think she loved ballet.

Here's Alden-boy reading his most favorite book, "Trains" by Byron Barton.


More to come...

The Final Semester

Since my last post exactly two months ago, we've had so much happen that needs to be recorded. I'll do my best to get it all down.

When I last wrote, Jason was at the PMF job fair in Washington D.C. Later that week, the kids and I drove up to meet him in D.C. and take him to one last interview downtown. The kids and I saw the Smithsonian Air and Space Museum, just down the road from the HHS building where Jase had his interview. Alden was especially in awe of the hanging airplanes and Rachel loved the space tech stuff. Alden was a little disappointed when we couldn't find helicopters anywhere, but after talking with their info-desk, we found out those are housed in another center in Chantilly, Virginia (who knew?). Apparently this place has all of the coolest "big stuff" that is too big to house in downtown D.C. They even have the space shuttle Discovery there! We're planning a visit for Alden's birthday, as they happen to have a special "Super Saturday" featuring helicopters on August 11th (his birthday is the 13th). I can't wait to see his face.

As for how the job search turned out, Jase accepted an offer to work for the FDA in their Department of Human Resources as a Human Resources Specialist. He's thrilled about the job (not only relieved to have one, but happy with the people he'll be working with and the type of work he'll be doing). There is plenty of promotional potential and they really seemed to want him there. He'll do a great job. We originally thought he'd be working at the FDA campus in White Oak, MD, but recently realized that his office is actually housed in Bethesda. Good thing we signed a rental lease to live in Gaithersburg, just 20 minutes by metro! We did some home searching in Maryland and found a great little condo for a good price, and close to the metro. We'll be able to save our money by staying in a two bedroom for another two years, and stick with one car for awhile as well. The benefits of savings just outweigh the conveniences of space and another car. We'll be safe and comfortable, and have enough for our needs and a few wants, and be able to beef up our savings. We're very happy with our plan. We also realize how blessed we are to have a job in this market, and are feeling very grateful for the way we were led to be at this school, at this time, making these decisions, and getting this job in the D.C. area. It's not my ideal area, nor would I have picked it first (I do not consider myself much of a city girl), but we cannot deny how important it was that we came to William and Mary, met the people we have, and had the experiences we've had, because we can see how all that led us to the job and location we are moving to now.

We had a little bit of a small crisis happen in our apartment towards the end of April. Essentially, our kitchen area was flooded by the upstairs condo's malfunctioning dishwasher. Water came pouring in from the light fixtures (imagine my shock!) and heavily damaged the ceiling, cabinetry, and flooring. The next day brought workers tearing apart our kitchen and a quick packing job. Luckily we have displacement coverage in our rental insurance, and after some awesome negotiating by Jason we secured a two-bedroom suite in a local hotel. We've been here at the Residence Inn now for almost a month. The adjustment was a bit hard for the kids, being without all of their regular things, beds, blankets, and toys, but we've tried to make things comfortable and now I think they are doing fine. The hotel has a hot breakfast that I don't have to cook every morning, and I can get my sheets and towels cleaned by someone else. Originally we thought we'd be back in our apartment by now, but the only thing that's changed about the place is that the ceiling has been refinished. The living/dining area is still full of kitchen appliances, and the kitchen is still bare and empty. The house is largely packed up though, since we're not using anything there, so that's actually been surprisingly convenient.

Jason's law school graduation was a week ago, on the 13th.. It was a perfect weekend for it, and we enjoyed having Jason's mom Elizabeth here to celebrate with us. I'm so proud of Jase for all he has done. He's worked hard to put himself financially through two degrees, worked hard to find a job and then received a prestigious fellowship, and finished in the top third of his class academically. And he did all that while helping me raise our family. He's the first of his family tree to earn a graduate level degree, and I'm so proud of him.

Rachel had her own little "graduation" of sorts as well for completing her first year of Joy School. It was a fun experience for both of us. She misses spending time with her friends, and I think it will be hard for her for a bit since many of her friends are moving, and we'll be moving in about a week. Luckily she still has her Alden to boss around (I mean...keep her company?). We heard from our new Bishop and Elders Quorum President in our new ward that there is a very large Primary program, so I'm sure she'll find and make many new friends quickly. She's very outgoing and kind, so I don't think she'll have any problem with it. We've loved having such good friends at such a young age for our children, and I think probably have had a very lucky and unique experience. Rachel has been playmates with a few of her friends since she was just crawling at 9 months old, and grown to experience all those milestones through preschool with them. I'm so grateful to have all these memories and to have so many children in my life. I love Rachel's little friends as though they were my little nieces and nephews and it hurts to leave them all, knowing they'll grow up and probably not remember us very well or at all. But we're on to new adventures and new experiences. The D.C. area holds so many opportunities and things to do, and I think Rachel will really enjoy it.

As for me, I've been busy taking care of these little ones, packing up the apartment, and preparing for our move. Over the last few months with having more time on my hands during nap time and after bed time I've been missing structured learning/being in school. For awhile I got on a bit of kick to go back and get an associates of nursing and become an RN, but realized how much time that would take out of the my daytime. Ideally earning something at night would be better for now. Unfortunately, nursing degrees are (understandably) hands on and built around a very rigid schedule and cohort. Basically that means that I feel I should wait until all my children (including future ones) are in schools of their own. It's been a personal decision for me that I just can't bear to leave the babies with anyone else. The other day I was researching other educational options and bumped into BYU's Independent Study online program. You can take online courses of various disciplines. There are a few free courses that look interesting, but I found two courses for around $500 each that I'm really excited to take. Jase and I decided they'd be good investments for me to continue learning, even if it's just one course a year that's not contributing to any sort of degree (I already have a Bachelor's degree). My first pick is a World Geography course, built around learning about the different countries and their relationships. The syllabus sounded fascinating and the professor seems really interesting and insightful. I never had the chance to take any history or geography courses at BYU since I took the humanities and social sciences routes for general education (of which I was very happy with) and I'm really excited to get to know more about the world and current issues in different parts of the world. The beauty of these courses is that you pay for them and purchase texts, etc. as if you were going to class, but you complete the lessons, assignments, and quizzes at your own pace whenever you like. You have up to a year to finish each course for credit. As much as I told myself I could do self directed learning, I haven't been very good at it and need some structure and direction, and I feel like professors do actually offer some great insights and ways of thinking that I couldn't necessarily come by on my own. Anyways, I may be taking a World Geography course in the fall, and have started taking a free personal finance course online for the summer. Jase thinks that after the bar (he'll take the Maryland Bar in February) maybe he'll start taking a course here and there and we can study together and be perpetual part time students learning all sorts of things (I guess we're both nerds!?).

Since the end of school and graduation we've filled our days with packing and prepping for the move. We decided to do a few "stay-cation" things during our last few weeks in Williamsburg, so we went to Busch Gardens on Friday. We all had a perfect day. Both kids can ride the log flume with us, and Alden got so giddy on that ride (it's kind of like Splash Mountain at the end). They met Elmo again, gave him lots of hugs, and Rachel got to ride on a real roller coaster. We're going to try to go another two times before we have to leave (Rachel got a free summer preschool pass and Jase and I got the "pay for a day, play all summer" passes).

And I think that brings us up to date. I'd like to think I'll get better about blogging, but who knows. I'm feeling pretty good about just recording some of the basic things I know I'll forget if I don't write them down. I suppose I really ought to post a few pictures as well, since I promised that months ago and still haven't done it. Maybe with this super-fast hotel internet it won't take blogger so long!

Things I Want to Remember

The last two months have been a dearth of blog posts, so I'll spend this one catching up a bit. This might be a marathon post, but it's for my future self to read, so I don't really care. I'll post pictures later when I have access to the other computer. I wanted to mostly write down the funny things the kids have been saying lately so I'll remember them. A few things about/by each of them:

- Whenever Rachel or Alden gets messy while eating, Rachie always remarks, "That's like Cookie Monster. I bet Cookie Monster drives his mama crazy!" I think she hears me say (sometimes quite a bit), "you two are driving me crazy!" I almost always say this while laughing, but I think Rachel sees it as a funny remark of mine that lets her know I'm not happy with how messy the house has become due to toys dragged everywhere without being picked up or when food gets all over the place during a meal.

- When Rachel was in the car the other day she was heavily lamenting the fact that she is still in a car seat (a five point) and not a booster seat like some of her friends. I told her that she had to be at least four years old to sit in a booster seat (and if she fits, I may keep her in a five point for longer). She sighed and said very sadly, "I'm so tired of being three, Mom." Rachel is constantly talking about what things will be like when she gets older (this little three year old cannot wait to be a mom herself and get married and do all the things I'm doing right now) and I can't help but wish she would just enjoy being a child. I think this may be common for oldest children, as it's how I know I felt as a child and especially a teenager. I couldn't wait to get to the next stage or milestone...couldn't wait to drive a car, go to college, and be a grownup. I did all those things and never looked back, and thus I suppose worried a bit more about my life from a younger age. At the same time, having a mindset like that made me incredibly responsible and ready for adult life at a young age. I married at 20 and had Rachel at 21, so perhaps I needed to mature early to be ready for big life changes like those. I just see a lot of myself in her in these areas and I make a point to talk about how much fun we're having doing "kid" things. Rachel is no stranger to "living it up in the moment" either, so I'm sure she's fine. She just notices how much fun it can be to be a big kid, or an adult, and obviously can't yet understand the responsibilities that come with it.

- Rachel and Alden are honestly the best of friends, which makes having them so close together so worth it. They play better together than apart most of the time, and are always making up games and playing their own versions of "Blue's Clues" or "Dora" (the two shows I let them watch regularly). Their current favorite spot to sit and chat is on the little carpet next to the front door, which is apparently, "The Elevator." Rachel is constantly quizzing Alden and teaching him. She always asks him, "what's this?," even when she knows what it is, just because he will answer. If he doesn't know, she will teach him what it is. Their conversations are adorable. She'll repeat the word a few times and tell him how to say it. Because she does this, he already knows how to count to ten, and knows hundreds of words I wouldn't have expected him to know. He can speak in sentences, asking me politely, "Peas, I want to wear the geen shurt" (Please, I want to wear the green shirt). Rachel is a great teacher and a best friend to Alden, and makes it very clear in her best dramatic ways that she cannot wait for him to go to preschool with her, go to ballet with her, and all the other things he doesn't get to do yet.

- Alden is currently obsessed with helicopters. I have no clue what it is about them that makes him so in love, but he cannot get enough. We read the same two books over and over again, every single night and nap time (he also really likes "Brown Bear, Brown Bear" when he can persuade me to read him three). One is "Airplanes" and the other is called "Trains," both by Byron Barton. I will probably have to renew these from the library as many times as possible, and then recheck them out until I can purchase them. The airplanes book has a page about helicopters. Every night while I'm singing to him after his books are read and the lights are out he looks up at me and asks so sweetly, "I wide he-wa-cop-ker to-mo-woah?" (I ride helicopter tomorrow?). He is so serious and so desperate every time, and I always respond with, "someday baby boy." He has no idea how big a thing it would be to actually ride a helicopter, and it's just cute how much faith he has everyday that tomorrow will be the big day.

- Alden has learned so many songs lately, and can do the actions as well. He knows: "The Itsy Bitsy Spider," "Popcorn Popping," "The Wise Man," "Flying on an Airplane," "Once there was a Snowman," and "Choo Choo Choo," (which is his and Rachel's favorite song in the whole world, requested separately by each of them every single night, without fail). I'm sure there are more, but those are the current favorites.

- Today I fed the kids "Cars" chicken noodle soup and grilled cheese sandwiches for lunch. I had no idea what a hit it would be. Alden was hilarious, and kept smacking his lips and saying, "mmm....," and mumbling, "dis is licious!" (This is delicious!)

As for a general update of the past two months, Jason turned 28 and kept up with his thousands of deadlines for school. We also had a fun visit from Jason's dad and step-mom for a weekend a few weeks ago. We went out to eat at our favorite local restaurant, "Anna's Brick Oven," and attempted to go see a museum down in Hampton (Ft. Monroe), but never did find it. Instead we saw the Chesapeake Bay and even got to see a cargo ship go past us pretty close.

As for the job search, Jase became a Presidential Management Fellowship Finalist, which means he is a candidate for a job with the federal government in their PMF program. It's kind of a fast-track program for grad students to get into the upper reaches of the federal government. He is at their job fair this week, and has very high hopes for some wonderful job opportunities. We'll hopefully have an idea of where we'll be moving and what he'll be doing with his career by the end of this or next week. I'm thrilled at the prospect of simply having a plan for the next few years. This entire law school journey has been filled with a lot of confusion and questions for us as far as what Jason's career path might be, and where we ought to live. Looking back, we really can see how each experience has prepared Jason to be a PMF, and there is no way we could have gotten these jobs earlier; he was right on time. All our discouragement and worry about not having a job along the way really was for nothing. We've realized we never should have doubted things would work out the way they should, and we are more grateful than ever for the experiences we've had. We've learned so much about faith and putting our trust in God. Things really do turn out in the end when you have faith and you give your best efforts. As I'm saying this, we don't have any job offers yet, but I really believe something will happen and we'll be just fine.

As for me, I'm really really enjoying motherhood (finally!). It's not that I don't love infants, because I do, for about a month. I read an article by another blogger/mother who talked about how she has a theory that it's okay for mothers to love different stages of their children and struggle with others. Some mama talents are better for suited for different children's stages--some mamas love their pregnancies, some are great with newborns, some enjoy busy toddlers, some are better suited for grade school age children, some are wonderful parents to teenagers, and some know just how to be a parent to adult children. Some parents are good with many of these stages, and struggle with just one or two. Understanding this idea has been good for me, since I always thought I had to love them all to be a good mother.

I for one, absolutely love the first four weeks of heaven-sent baby freshness. I love the way newborns cry (that's strange to many mamas) and the way they root when they are hungry and they way their eyes peek open when they are waking up. After about month, exhaustion sets in for me. This was especially true with my second since I couldn't sleep when Alden was sleeping since Rachel needed me. Having two tiny ones under two was a huge challenge. I barely slept for 9 months, struggled with postpartum depression, and basically just put one foot in front of the other to keep both babies fed, clean, and as happy as possible. I can't say that I loved every minute of it, or even most of it. But since Alden turned about one and began sleeping through the night consistently (and as of late is napping exactly when Rachel is), I love love love being a mama. Toddlers are my forte. Maybe I'll have more fortes too though. I have a blast keeping them busy, doing activities with them, baking with them, taking them on long walks, exploring the beach, listening to sounds outside, and a million other little things that they find fascinating, new, and exciting. Watching them enjoy simple things has got to be one of my favorite feelings. They are thrilled over seeing our seeds become sprouts. They shriek with giddiness when they play with my parent's dogs (and constantly wish for one to call their own). They jump up and down with excitement over rain, snow, or a sunny day. Sure they throw some incredible tantrums, but here's the thing, I can handle these calmly. A screaming infant for hours on end might put me into a sobbing, blubbering mess, but these toddlers, I feel like I've got it.I can speak to them and reason with them. I get the sense that something deep in me understands how to teach the right-now-Rachel and Alden to be kind and good and brave and obedient and creative. They seem receptive to how I teach and I seem to be able to read their feelings and their needs for explanation. Sure, there are definitely still times where I just don't know what to say or how to teach something, but somehow I always feel confident I can figure it out. Back when Alden was screaming for hours on end with no apparent end in sight or reason, I felt completely lost and confused, with no way out or help to figure it out. Eventually things calmed down, but I've realized that the difference between then and now was my confidence in my ability to figure things out. Next time around maybe it will be different. I'll have a different baby and even more experience. But then again, maybe I'll just push through and love having that toddler too. It's okay and I'm okay.